Wild Moment

Having walked around the Mall the other day, my son and I sat down in the food court. I noticed a strange looking teenage lad sitting next to us. His hair was spiked and in all different colors: green, red, orange, and blue. My son was watching me looking at this weird sight; the teenager also notice my staring at him. Finally the teen said sarcastically: "What's the matter old man, never done anything wild in your life?" My son was startled at this comment, and calmed down when I replied: "Got drunk once and had sex with a peacock..........I was just wondering if you were my son." Thanks for visiting. -- Bob

Slowing Down is Inevitable

Slowing down is not something we like to admit to ourselves, but facts are facts. This story relates to a creative moment when the facts are hard to accept. It seems that, let's call him George, in a town in Maine, was going upstairs to bed when his wife called to him and asked if he'd left the light on in the back shed -- which she could see from the bedroom window.

George opened the back door to go turn off the light but saw strangers stealing things. He phoned the police, who asked the usual questions: "Is someone in your house?" and he said "no." Then they said that all patrols were busy, and the he should simply lock his door and an officer would be along when available.

George said, "Okay, hung up, counted to 60 and phoned the police again. (Now remember this, you may need to come up with a similar tactic.)

"Hello, I just called you a minute ago because there were people in my shed stealing things. Well, you don't have to worry about them now 'cause I've just shot them all." Then he hung up.

Within five minutes three police cars, an Armed Response unit, and an ambulance shoed up at George's house and caught the burglars red-handed. One of the policemen said to George: "I thought you said that you'd shot them all!" George replied: "And I thought you said there was nobody available!" Thanks for visiting. -- Bob

Strange Happenings In a Snowstorm

Claimed to be a "Truly Scary Story."

A John Bradford, a Dublin University student, was on the side of the road hitchhiking on a very dark, windy night in the middle of a snow storm. The night was rolling on and no car went by. The storm was so strong he could hardly see a few feet ahead of him. Suddenly, he saw a car very slowly coming towards him and stopped. John, desperate for shelter, and without thinking about it, got into the car and closed the door behind him -- only to realize that there was nobody behind the steering wheel -- and the engine wasn't on! The car started moving slowly. John looked at the road ahead and saw a curve approaching. Scared, he started to pray, begging for his life. Then, just before the car hit the curve, a hand appeared through the window at the drivers side and turned the steering wheel. John, paralyzed with terror, watched as the hand repeatedly came through the window, but never touched or harmed him. Just then, John saw the lights of a pub appearing nearby, so, he gathered his strength and jumped out of the car and ran toward the lights. Wet and out of breath, he rushed inside and started telling everybody about the horrible experience he just had. A silence took over the pub when everybody realized that he was crying and ...wasn't drunk.

Suddenly the door of the pub opened, two other people walked in from the stormy night. They, like John, were also soaked and out of breath. Looking around and seeing John Bradford sobbing at the bar, one said to the other "Look Paddy, there's that idiot that got in the car while we were pushing it!"

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Friends: In most parts of this country it is Winter weather with many snow storms. Watch out for hitchhikers and/or people pushing their cars. As for me, I'll wait before venturing out.

Thanks for visiting. Bob Happy New Year!