A True Friend is God’s Gift to You

So you have friends, you say. Get on your knees and thank God. Your friend will stand by you through thick and thin, will even die for you, right? Oh, no? Then you do not have a true friend; you have an associate. A friend is someone that would die for you, and an associate is someone you know quite well, someone you know better than an acquaintance. They may stand by you in some troubles but not all. Instead of referring to associates as “friends,” what would you say when introducing them to others? How about, “this is my associate, Jake Wont.” Truly, “friends” and “love” are related. The sort of friend one can consider “true” has the element of love in it, love that comes from the heart, sincere, genuine. Now that I am alone in the shadow of life, having lost my best and only earthly friend (my spouse), it occurred to me how people misuse and, yes, even abuse the word “friend.” Somehow, as a youngster I virtually held sacred two things close to my mind and heart – and this is ever since I was young, a youth. That will tell you something about the way we thought as opposed to attitudes today. One, I never made a promise that I was not sure I could keep. I believe this stemmed from a promise made to me as a child that was not kept; I can still remember the incident some 70 years later. Two, the word friend was substituted for the reality of the association. That is, the word friend was not used, instead “fellow worker” “Fellow member" "Associate" “Acquaintance” “Team member” “Compatriot” “Neighbor” etc., whatever the real situation was is how I handled it. Why? Because somehow I came to know early in life, what “friend” meant. In my teen years, I learned that everything in life fluctuates, i.e. nothing of importance remains static. Close fellow associates, or myself, would relocate and never be seen again. As a career professional in the United States military, frequently moving from one place to another, one country to another, meeting people and developing friendships would often be avoided because of partings that would inevitably happen. Everyday life in the past, say from between ages 8 and 15, when the chance of moving was less prone,it was possible to establish a friendship, possibly started in a school or neighborhood. Unless you never moved, by the mid to late teens, life would cause changes putting distance between you and that “temporary” friendship that in time fades away. Note what the Bible says about friends: “Nothing can be compared to a faithful friend, and no weight of gold and silver is able to countervail the goodness of his fidelity “A faithful friend is the medicine of life and immortality: and they that fear the Lord shall find him. “He that feareth God, shall likewise have good friendship: because according to Him shall his friends be” Ecclus 6: 14-17 Fast forward. Mature, wise people will tell you honestly, what the Bible will tell you, and that is: “A faithful friend is a strong defense: and he that hath found him hath found a treasure. “Blessed is he that finds a true friend,…Ecclus 25:12 Also: “Ointment and perfumes rejoice the heart: and the good counsels of a friend are sweet to the soul” Prov. 27:9 “It is better therefore that two should be together, than one: for they have the advantage of their society. “If one fall, he shall be supported by the other: woe to him that is alone, for when he falleth, he has none to lift him up” Eccles 4:9, 10. Of course there are cautions in the choice of friends, e.g. …one in a thousand would be a friend (Ecclus 6: 6,7). There are many reasons why anyone would be a false friend. A friend must have fidelity (be faithful). (Prov. 17:17) A friend must not betray confidence. (Prov. 3:39) This is but a brief introduction to a prized, but grossly misused, abused, and misunderstood subject by people in general. It is pure wisdom to understand and apply to ourselves the lesson Jesus gave us to respect the word “friend.” He once referred to the ultimate sacrifice as that of giving one’s life for his friends. Due to my self-imposed conditions and choosing to settle in a place other than where longevity had prevailed, and circumstances altered those conditions, for me a friend, as described in this article, is remote to non-existent. If you have read closely, you will see that I care dearly about what a friend means, and would mean to me personally. The Bible quotations reinforce my belief in the priceless value of a friend and the difficulty of finding one. It appears that I must continue to pray God for the gift of a God-fearing, worthy person, I can call a true friend. My standards and values are high, but God’s is infinitely higher. In these times, I can only pray and hope God answers; He always does. Right now, He is saying “no.” He has his reasons. Here are a few quotations of what others say about a friend: “Actions, not words, are the true characteristic mark of the attachment of friends.” - George Washington “…friendships are treasures that last forever.” - Mart De Haan, RBC Ministries “It would be better for us that the sun were exhausted than that we should be without friends.” - Dennis Fisher, RBC Ministries “Of all the things which wisdom provides to make life entirely happy, much the greatest is the possession of friendship.” - Epicurus “One of the most beautiful qualities of a true friend is to understand and be understood.” - Seneca “I didn’t find my friends; the Good God gave them to me.” - Ralph Waldo Emerson “A single true friend is a treasure worth more than gold or precious stones. Money can buy many things, good and evil. All the wealth of the world could not buy a true friend or pay for the loss of one.” - C.D. Prentice “What is the secret of your life?” asked Mrs. Browning of Charles Kingsley. “Tell me, that I may make mine beautiful, too.” He replied: “I had a friend.” Wonderful quotations on this subject are truly without end. More recent, contemporary descriptions of a friend go like this: “Good friends are hard to find, harder to leave, and impossible to forget.” “Best friends are like a four leaf clover, hard to find and lucky to have.” “Some people make the world special by just being in it.” “When it hurts to look back, and you’re scared to look ahead, you can look beside you and your best friend will be there.” “True friendship never ends.” “Friends are forever.” “Good friends are like stars…you don’t always see them, but you know they are always there.” “Most people walk in and out of your life, but only a friend remains in your heart.” Common sense and the Bible tells us that friendship demands reciprocal love. Holy Scripture repeatedly presents God as the friend of man. God spoke with Moses as a friend (Ex 33:11). He called Abraham His friend (Is 41:8). It is recorded that both men loved God and would do anything God asked, with the emphasis on “anything.” Other prophets of the Old Testament could be mentioned if space here permitted. In my not so deep research on the subject of friend, I quickly recognized that there is an abundance of wisdom concerning “friend,” in Scripture alone; too much for the space of a blog. I may need to consider pursuing a future booklet on this subject to render it the justice it deserves, for the wonder of its literal meaning and reasonable understanding. Misuse of this almost sacred word is appalling. I believe humankind needs to know the true meaning of friendship so as not to be suddenly disappointed when what they expect from someone they call friend does not happen. The following prayer-poem with our one True Friend is one I say before the the Holy Cross. I am sure the anonymous author would welcome you to say the words I find here that expresses gratefulness for His friendship: I would converse with Thee from day to day, With heart intent on what Thou hast to say, And through my pilgrim-walk, whate’er befall, Consult with Thee, O Lord! about it all. Since Thou art willing thus to condescend To be my intimate, familiar friend, Oh! let me to the great occasion rise, And count Thy friendship life’s most glorious prize! †